JonDlundyn Parker adventure #3 - 3
November 14th 2006 18:15
In Sydney, Karen was spending time with girlfriends. She was attending lunches, morning teas and the odd trip to a local pub. Her friends were looking after her. Not giving her time to mourn or grieve, they thought. Ben, her husband had been a great romance when they first met. He was wealthy and free spending. He charmed her and in bed they were as well matched as two people could be. However after some time being married and with neither of them particularly interested in having children the sex and romance had worn off. He had plenty of other interests, perhaps even love interests thought Karen. What with the drug smuggling and whatever! She knew in her heart that she was still a possible suspect in that crime as far as the police were concerned. No, her grieving was for a friend who had passed away. That was all that the relationship was toward the end. She was young and still spirited; she didn’t want to be a grieving widow in black for long.
After arranging what she could with regards to Ben’s affairs she decided to hire a car and drive north up the coast. She said goodbye to her girlfriends at a cocktail bar in the city and with a carefree heart she took to the road. Nothing now was tying her down other than a funeral that was still to be attended and of course she had to let the police know where she was at all times. The little car hummed along the free way eating up the miles and before long she was crossing the Hawkesbury River. This wide river was the boundary for the Sydney metropolitan area and marked what was known as the Central Coast. She was trying to work out in her mind, how to get to see her ‘A’ team guys again. The site of the broad river dotted with cruisers and houseboats had a calming effect on her mind and the doubts about meeting the two men again started to fade. She formed a plan to stay on the lake where the men lived and to arrange a visit. Relaxed now at having actually made up her mind about seeing them again she sped on through the sandstone hills covered with the dry blue coloured eucalypt trees. She was even feeling horny she thought to herself!
At the lakeside town of Toronto, she took a small water view apartment in a modern complex situated right in the heart of the little town. She shopped for the essentials she would need for a week or so she planned to stay and also put in a good supply of wines and a selection of beers. With her car parked in the security car park she was strolling around the waterfront, watching the sailing boats and pausing to look into the catch pails of the boys fishing off the local wharves. Her mood was light hearted and her walking soon had her at the local yacht club. She introduced herself at the front desk and had herself made a temporary member. She settled for a lemon squash from the bar and sat down at a table on the veranda overlooking the lake and the marina. She engaged in conversation with the barmaid who had come out from behind the bar to wipe tables.
“I’m looking for two men who do abalone fishing from a small launch,” she asked. “There’s lots of guys around here with launches who fish.” replied the barmaid.
Karen thought for a moment, not wanting to sound too nosey or keen. “These guys are in their late thirties. One built like a gorilla and the other one kind of lean.”
“Yeah.” replied the barmaid. “I know ‘em. Roscoe and Lundyn. They took off in Lundyn’s ketch this morning. Don’t know when they’ll be back. They’re members here so they come in often enough.”
‘Thanks.” said Karen. “I’ll watch out for them.”
The barmaid gave Karen a long look taking in her clothes, hair and manner and lastly with a long jealous look at Karen’s breasts. “Those two will probably find you soon enough!’
Roscoe was watching under the water through a hand held Bathyscope. He had a roll up cigarette drooping from his mouth and for all the world he looked like a man just checking out the bottom of the ocean with a little toy. From his position on the marlin board at the stern of the boat he was in actual fact watching a life and death drama unfold. The diver who had been seeking out the ketch with the anti tank mine was in Lundyn’s steel grip. Lundyn wore the one good regulator as he finned hard with the diver slowly loosing grip on life. Lundyn had not given him air to survive. He wanted him soft and docile. The diver was enough of a professional to realise he was not going to be killed (yet) and tried to swim along with Lundyn. However as his natural body reserves ran out of oxygen his survival instincts started to kick in and he was grappling like a mad man for the precious life giving air in Lundyn’s control but Lundyn held him too tight. As they neared the surface a huge paw, attached to a muscular forearm reached over Lundyn and grabbed the diver. With Roscoe pulling now with two arms and Lundyn kicking from below they got the semi-conscious man onto the marlin board. He was gasping and gurgling water from his lungs. It was a close call. Lundyn immediately lunged up beside Roscoe and the two men quickly stripped the diver of his buoyancy vest, mask, fins, gloves and weight belt. All this gear was tied together and dropped off the back of the boat. The diver was skull dragged onto the back deck then down the passage into the main cabin where Roscoe trussed him up with rope.
After arranging what she could with regards to Ben’s affairs she decided to hire a car and drive north up the coast. She said goodbye to her girlfriends at a cocktail bar in the city and with a carefree heart she took to the road. Nothing now was tying her down other than a funeral that was still to be attended and of course she had to let the police know where she was at all times. The little car hummed along the free way eating up the miles and before long she was crossing the Hawkesbury River. This wide river was the boundary for the Sydney metropolitan area and marked what was known as the Central Coast. She was trying to work out in her mind, how to get to see her ‘A’ team guys again. The site of the broad river dotted with cruisers and houseboats had a calming effect on her mind and the doubts about meeting the two men again started to fade. She formed a plan to stay on the lake where the men lived and to arrange a visit. Relaxed now at having actually made up her mind about seeing them again she sped on through the sandstone hills covered with the dry blue coloured eucalypt trees. She was even feeling horny she thought to herself!
At the lakeside town of Toronto, she took a small water view apartment in a modern complex situated right in the heart of the little town. She shopped for the essentials she would need for a week or so she planned to stay and also put in a good supply of wines and a selection of beers. With her car parked in the security car park she was strolling around the waterfront, watching the sailing boats and pausing to look into the catch pails of the boys fishing off the local wharves. Her mood was light hearted and her walking soon had her at the local yacht club. She introduced herself at the front desk and had herself made a temporary member. She settled for a lemon squash from the bar and sat down at a table on the veranda overlooking the lake and the marina. She engaged in conversation with the barmaid who had come out from behind the bar to wipe tables.
“I’m looking for two men who do abalone fishing from a small launch,” she asked. “There’s lots of guys around here with launches who fish.” replied the barmaid.
Karen thought for a moment, not wanting to sound too nosey or keen. “These guys are in their late thirties. One built like a gorilla and the other one kind of lean.”
“Yeah.” replied the barmaid. “I know ‘em. Roscoe and Lundyn. They took off in Lundyn’s ketch this morning. Don’t know when they’ll be back. They’re members here so they come in often enough.”
‘Thanks.” said Karen. “I’ll watch out for them.”
The barmaid gave Karen a long look taking in her clothes, hair and manner and lastly with a long jealous look at Karen’s breasts. “Those two will probably find you soon enough!’
Roscoe was watching under the water through a hand held Bathyscope. He had a roll up cigarette drooping from his mouth and for all the world he looked like a man just checking out the bottom of the ocean with a little toy. From his position on the marlin board at the stern of the boat he was in actual fact watching a life and death drama unfold. The diver who had been seeking out the ketch with the anti tank mine was in Lundyn’s steel grip. Lundyn wore the one good regulator as he finned hard with the diver slowly loosing grip on life. Lundyn had not given him air to survive. He wanted him soft and docile. The diver was enough of a professional to realise he was not going to be killed (yet) and tried to swim along with Lundyn. However as his natural body reserves ran out of oxygen his survival instincts started to kick in and he was grappling like a mad man for the precious life giving air in Lundyn’s control but Lundyn held him too tight. As they neared the surface a huge paw, attached to a muscular forearm reached over Lundyn and grabbed the diver. With Roscoe pulling now with two arms and Lundyn kicking from below they got the semi-conscious man onto the marlin board. He was gasping and gurgling water from his lungs. It was a close call. Lundyn immediately lunged up beside Roscoe and the two men quickly stripped the diver of his buoyancy vest, mask, fins, gloves and weight belt. All this gear was tied together and dropped off the back of the boat. The diver was skull dragged onto the back deck then down the passage into the main cabin where Roscoe trussed him up with rope.
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Comment by katyzzz
Photography Tips
MS Paint Art
Love the illustration.
You have moments of inspiration and brilliance that shines through like a beacon.
Unfortunately it is too much information delivered too perfunctorilly, which spoils it.
You have some grammar and syntax problems and your style is far too condensed.
You could probably draw the whole thing out to 5 - 6 times the volume and make it flow more easily.
Karen's persona really becomes your persona far too often, is this how females really think?
There' a good story here just crying to be released slowly but the imagery in parts is inspiring and are you writing a story or giving a geographical tour?
I could highlight your areas of brilliance for you but would like to think you first need time to digest what I say. I'm not really an expert but for me this was hard work that left me exhausted rather than prose that permitted my escape.
You've got it but it will take a lot of hard work.
Am I unkind in my remarks, I don't think so, I am trying to be helpful, I do hope you've had your breakfast you may need a little sustenance reading what I say.
Stay in touch.
katyzzz
Comment by TomN
Boat Heaven